Legal Statements

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This page should have been called 'Legal Stuff'. But our lawyers, Smith & Wesson Associates of Petite Riviere, Mauritius, advised us that it contained Legal Statements so we had to label it as such. We were going to ignore them and hire Judge Robert Rinder instead, but you don't mess with Mr Smith and Mr Wesson.

Definitions


Robert 'Talking''You'
- The customer. Hello. What are you doing reading this? You're a lawyer? Ah. OK. The last person here was a Google adbot and they only rank a little higher than lawyers for friendly conversation. But you're welcome to stay and enjoy the rest of the page while we track your IP address and download compromising pictures from your Facebook account.


'Us, We' - Dodo Juice Ltd, a company that makes superior car care products. Our marketing man told us to say that. He doesn't like lawyers much. Mr Wesson wanted us to say 'supposedly superior' but we told him it was a clear matter of fact and that we'd clean his car for him after lunch, and he suddenly changed his mind. The Lawyers

 

'They' - Mr Smith and Mr Wesson, mildly alarming legal practitioners, based in Petite Riviere, Mauritius. See below. 


'The Products' - Stuff 'we' make or sell. Car waxes, car shampoos, car polish. We don't make everything, of course. Mr Skittles tried knitting a microfibre drying towel once and it looked like someone had tried making a onesie from Fuzzy Felt. We therefore source our microfibre products from international textile barons. 'Source them responsibly,' we said. 'We're into ethics.'  Our far eastern agent repeated this back to us several times. 'Into Ethics Mister Dom? Ship into Ethics? No problem. We do FOB Felixstowe.' So that reassured us.

 

Skigazzle'Vajazzle' - a cosmetic decoration applied to a ladygarden. You never know when a definition like that will come in handy, so we've included it here.

 

Legal Statements

We reserve the right to refuse orders or to make product substitutions when it is reasonable for us to do so. You may be annoyed if this happens. So we will let you know if it does.

 

Specifications of products may vary and photographs are illustrative only. We do try and keep pictures up to date, however, to prevent you writing to us like some angry old Colonel complaining about military spending cuts to the Editor of The Daily Telegraph.

 

'Dodo Juice', the Dodo Juice logo and 'Supernatural' are registered trade marks of Dodo Juice Ltd, UK. All images and text found on this website are protected by copyright and must not be reproduced or copied without the express permission of Dodo Juice Ltd. The NeeseYou may think that you can ignore this, but we will employ Liam Neeson to hunt you down, subdue you and put you into a small postage-paid crate marked for the attention of Mr Smith and Mr Wesson, Petite Riviere, Mauritius, whereupon we will ask them to deal with your sorry posterior in any manner they see fit.

 

Dodo Juice, Supernatural and Basics of Bling are brands owned and administrated by Dodo Juice Ltd, Unit 10 Golds Business Park, Jenkins Drive, Elsenham, Essex CM22 6JX, UK. Dodo Juice Ltd is a limited company registered in the UK, number 06183699. VAT number GB 912 9601 32. That's us.


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